Suerte, Fortuna, Glück

Well, hello there. The New Year hasn't quite opened up to us yet, but it is already looking like a vast improvement over the previous one for me. There are many times in my life when I have felt unbelievably lucky; where things just gracefully and effortlessly slid into place like they were simply meant to be. Such is the case at this moment. I have been in pretty dire straits financially for a while, mostly due to the fact that I have been living alone in an apartment too expensive for me. I had put off looking for a roommate because I simply wasn't ready. Four previous leads, friends of friends who were looking for new surroundings, just didn't work out. I was extremely averse to placing an ad for a total stranger to come live in my home with me--I had never had to do this before, and it seemed full of mysterious dangers to me. Finally, with my funds dwindling to alarmingly low levels, I placed an ad in craigslist. I received only two responses.

One of the women who responded seemed decent enough until I phoned her yesterday and had a totally bizarre conversation with her, full of pauses and odd giggles and gasps on her end, and which ended very abruptly. I swear she was either being tickled or having sex while she was talking to me. This did not make me feel good about the whole ad thing. The other person who responded to my ad was someone I was already predisposed to like--she has an anthropology degree, and even more exciting, her first name is featured in the title of one of my favorite movies from the seventies. What's not to like? Go ahead, try to figure out what her name is!

So, L came over to my place last night, and we ended up talking for about an hour and a half. I knew she was a good person the minute I saw her walk up the steps. I have always put great stock in my intuitive impressions about people, and she has a very comfortable, friendly, and honest character, and it was obvious immediately. My spastic hyperkitty even took to her right away--Sylvie warmed up to her more quickly than usual and even climbed up in her lap minutes after she sat down.

I am led to reflect on the different lucks in my life. I am thinking of a time earlier this year, when a friend of mine remarked that I had had a stream of really bad luck for a while. It truly surprised me to hear him say that, because I had never thought of it that way. I pondered it for quite a while. I realized, that yes, in most people's eyes, I have been through quite a collection of unlucky circumstances. My life in general has been burdened with a fair share of adversity and obstacles, and the past two years in particular I have endured heartbreaking and disturbing events in nearly every major aspect of my life. But I just haven't ever considered myself unlucky. Not for a minute. Luck is what you make of it, I suppose--you know, that tired old phrase about lemons and lemonade. As prosaic as it is, there is truth in that statement. I wouldn't trade any of the hardships of my life for one second. They have made me the person that I am and I like who I have grown to be. I truly believe that having experienced more intense suffering than some people has also gifted me with the ability to experience more joy. I have somehow miraculously escaped what I consider to be true horrors and hardships--never truly, really, and completely suffered. Every time I felt that things were just not going to work out, that this was the end of my fortune, something happened to turn it around. I have never lost my home and had to live in my car, I still have all my limbs, I have a huge base of supportive friends and family...there are an endless list of things we could all write about to take stock of the goodness in our lives. I think we all should do so every once in a while--writing it down makes it miraculous and real.

And somehow, in ways I cannot fathom, I feel that I must be doing something right, because of these occasional shining effortless moments when exactly what I need falls right out of the sky and lands on my doorstep.
Happy New Year, my dear friends.