Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs

I went to Ralph’s today with a friend, because she told me that they sell the full lineup of Count Chocula, Franken Berry, AND Boo Berry cereals now. All three of ‘em! I was a little disappointed; they only had the Franken Berry in stock, but it’s probably just as well. I don’t think I could actually eat much of any of them, really, and certainly not three whole boxes worth. But I did buy myself a shocking pink box of the Franken Berries and I just finished a bowl of them a few moments ago.

Sadly, things have changed since the sugary-cereal-laden halcyon days of my youth. The box graphics are totally different--Franken Berry is larger than life and the whole box is scarily pink and fuschia colored. There isn’t a picture of actual cereal anywhere on the box. And they changed the marshmallows! I know this shouldn’t really disturb me as I’m a fairly strict vegetarian and can't eat the marshmallows anyway. But they added a bunch of little white ghosts, purple bats (which were rather cute, I must say) and some indistinct blobby blue things that I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what they were meant to be representing.

So I had to pick through the bowlful of cereal and remove all those puffy little interlopers in an attempt to regain the nostalgic cereal experience I was yearning for. Was this stuff REALLY that color when I was a kid? I can’t believe I ever ate it without worry. It is a truly violent shade of hot pink that in no way should ever be put in anyone’s mouth if they know what’s good for them. However, it’s probably all that horrific carcinogen-laden red dye that helps produce the sweet pink strawberry milk after it sits in the bowl for a minute or two. Still, I think I feel rather ill now... Maybe I’ll just put the box up on my wall as a Halloween decoration and forgo any future attempts to actually ingest it. The trip down memory lane simply isn’t worth the gastrointestinal distress that follows. Beware the berries of Franken, my friends.