How Not to Melt

I’m not sure how many people are aware of how dang hot it is in Southern California right now. If you don’t live here, I couldn’t fairly expect you to, as I have no idea how hot it is anywhere else. Oh, except for Seattle. I hear that it’s quite nice up there at the moment. I woke up in a good mood this morning, despite the fact that for the past few days, my ceiling fans have not been anywhere near strong enough to quell the tidepools of sweat that I’ve engendered by doing nothing more strenuous than sitting in my living room. And panting. Like a dog. This may be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. Well, today I woke up happy and determined to be more aggressive in trying to invent ways to keep my core temperature from reaching the boiling point than I had been yesterday.

Yesterday I spent much of the day simply lolling about and feeling too hot to move anything more than my eyelids. Even blinking was a chore if I thought about it too much. I didn’t take a shower because that would have been a futile waste of water. Late in the evening, I decided that I had to either leave the house or spontaneously combust, so I tried to cool down with a trip to the beach, but even that was no relief. I drove to my favorite spot out on Sunset Cliffs Blvd., but the ocean breeze was not moving much at all and I didn’t feel refreshed in the slightest. The waves were gorgeous and soothing but the still air was like salty jello congealed around my body. On the way home I was craving a processed fast food cheese sammich from In-n-Out (yes, even I, the paragon of vegetarian tree-hugging health-food-touting virtue cannot resist the lure of the french fried goodness that is In-n-Out), but their drive-through line was exceptionally elongated by hordes of other suffering people who similarly didn’t want to heat up their houses by cooking. I was horribly disappointed, and drove home still too warm and now hungry to boot. Fortunately, when I called Jen up at 10:00 pm to whine about my dire situation she promptly agreed that a trip to an air-conditioned spot that serves french fries was a capital idea and we left about 90 seconds later. That grilled cheese sammich was all that I had hoped and more. MMMmmmmmmmm cheeeeeeeeeeese!

Today in the late morning I went to the farmer’s market, which was scorching and rather unpleasant except for the new jade adornments I purchased and the tasty mango agua fresca that I guzzled down in about two minutes flat. I also had some raw vegan salad hippy food that was quite yummy in addition to being really good for me and canceling out the decadent American cheese-ness of the night before. And then I bought some astoundingly delicious organic heirloom tomatoes. Honestly, it made me roll my eyes they were so tasty. I’d eat another one right now except that I plan on going to bed sometime soon and all that acid is not a good precursor to a restful night’s sleep.

After the market excursion--I had the air conditioner on full blast in the car both ways, a real indulgence--I didn’t have too much time to contemplate where the next cool hideout might be. Kerry called me up and more or less demanded that I accompany her and her husband to a local pub. It wasn’t hard to oblige. The Wit’s End is a great little place in Hillcrest that serves really good beer. I was quite impressed with their selection and the friendly bar service, and we stayed there several hours trying about five or six ales between the three of us, munching on really outstanding panninis, making several new acquaintances, and listening to an astonishing amount of early metal and 80s hair band music (musical selections courtesy of Kerry and the owner). If I hadn’t developed a persistent headache we would probably still be there right now. And I do have to admit that “Surrender” by Cheap Trick is one of my favorite songs ever. Truly.