Never do a Google image search for the word "Hot" (what was I thinking?)

Most of the people where I live are overjoyed that summer has finally arrived in all of its sweltering glory. As you can tell by my choice of adjectives, I'm not as happy about it. I prefer a cool breeze and some nice clouds. Besides, now I can't go to the beach because it's one long traffic jam for miles and miles before you get there. Not to mention that my enjoyment of the grand outdoors is greatly diminished by the presence of teeming hordes of human beings in various stages of undress. This really isn't my main gripe, however; I haven't been going to the beach as much as I used to during the past few years anyway--I think I'm just miffed because now the option is out should I decide I do want to go--what really drives me to swear that I'm moving to the Pacific Northwest once and for all is the heat.

I simply do not like being hot. Dry heat, humid heat--it all makes me equally cranky. Heat makes me feel foggy-headed and listless and sullen. I get irritable. Cold I can deal with; you can nearly always put more layers on or find a fireplace or someone to cuddle with or drink vodka or something. But when it's hot there are only so many clothes you can take off without getting arrested, and then if it's still hot there's nothing left you can do to alleviate the misery. I do not have air conditioning, and while my ceiling fans do provide a bit of relief, they only keep me cool if I'm absolutely still. The moment I expend the tiniest amount of energy or lift one toe off the floor I get all sweaty. I took a shower this afternoon but I already feel sticky and nasty all over again. If I weren't such a tree-hugging hippie-type I would take five cold showers a day, but we've been experiencing a prolonged drought down here. To be truthful, my conscience wouldn't allow me to waste that much water no matter what the rainfall levels were like.

It was so hot today that if I spoke on the phone to someone longer than about a minute the crease of my elbow started to sweat profusely. My elbow!! It was so hot that I put in my contacts because I just couldn't stand to have my glasses weighing on my face anymore. It was so hot that the cat was sleeping in the bathtub. It was so hot that I've been pretty much naked all day (except when I went outside; I'm no exhibitionist). It's still so hot this late in the evening that I'm contemplating my second visit of the day to the new popsicle shop in my neighborhood.


Two positive things I've managed to acknowledge about the heat: my clothes dried astoundingly quickly when hung up to dry, and those popsicles are utterly delicious, cool you down nicely, and are good for you, too. I think I'll try the cucumber chili one next time...